Celibate
Celibate
Being celibate refers to a certain condition that either means sexual abstinence or remaining unmarried. It is also used to mean chastity and abstinence and there are many reasons due to which people resort to celibacy. It may be due to religious beliefs, prevention of venereal diseases or to regain a sense of independence from others.
People have for many years remained celibate due to numerous reasons. Religious beliefs have been one of the major reasons. The priests are required to be celibate, by the Church laws followed by the Roman Catholic Church and also by other religions like Hinduism and Buddhism. It is also sometimes considered as ideals, by some religions, for the unmarried or laypeople. Buddhism, on the other hand, believes that man must be able to get rid of all his desires as it is the main cause of suffering. Therefore, remaining celibate helps to curb the desires of the individual to a great extent and in turn provides greater mental satisfaction. When a young child leads a student life called Brahmacharya, in Hinduism, he remains a celibate. But Hinduism believes that the vow of celibacy can be taken at any age when one feels that he can get rid of the worldly pleasures and achieve greater happiness in the love of God. Monks take vows of poverty and celibacy whereas the priest in Hinduism donot takes such vows. An understanding of marriage is necessary in order to understand the celibate gift. In Apostle Paul’s writings, it is clear that a sexual union is what initiates a marriage?not a marriage license or marriage ceremony (”for it is better to marry than to burn with passion,” 1 Cor. Obviously, a flame can be quenched with one drop of water, thereby creating a marital bond in God’s eyes. So it is clear from God’s Word that a past sexual history is not compatible with the celibate gift. There was no recognized state between virginity and marriage. It is reassuring that God’s words are eternal and do not change with the times. 3 Some may think that the gift of celibacy is an ability to live alone in the world, or that it is just an ability to repress sexual drive, living a life of loneliness and misery. There are challenges that every celibate will face, just as in marriage. But the person with the celibate gift does not condemn Christian marriage, is not afraid of physical intimacy, is not antisocial, is not irresponsible, is not immature, is not na?ve, and is not a “loner.” These are all stereotypes. The celibate lives a life of completeness and fulfillment that is just as real as the life of a married person. The sexual aspect of the gift becomes less and less of an issue as time passes. The celibate gift eventually becomes all encompassing, influencing every fiber of a person’s being, every emotional molecule. 6 In many ways, a celibate priest can advise on issues of sexuality in a similar way that a doctor can diagnose and treat illnesses that he or she has never experienced. Dick Sparks, a Paulist priest and professor of moral theology said this is only a partial parallel: “One can learn some of this from study, books, and the classroom, but it is also helpful for one to have learned from the ‘school of life,’” he said. 7 It has its roots in the stereotype of the gay man who is incapable of controlling himself. Ironically, there’s a quote from Cardinal Ratzinger in a 1986 document, The Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons, that says, “What is at all costs to be avoided is the unfounded and demeaning assumption that the sexual behavior of homosexuals is always and totally compulsive.” So, this notion that gay men can’t keep celibate is a stereotype, it goes against the catechism, and against what Cardinal Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict XVI says. 10 Inexperience is seen as a void, a negative trait. The celibate views sexual inexperience as complete fullness, as an integral part of the total gift. This is often made worse by holding on to cultural expectations, such as marriage and children. But what is received in turn is an inner strength and sense of purpose in this world. There is a profound sense of contentment and security, security in knowing that you are where God wants you to be, and security in knowing that there will be no regrets, no broken hearts. 9
